That time I de-cluttered

So what feels like many moons ago I attempted a de-clutter challenge. It was fairly successful…many a black bag, filled with random crap, was given away, sold or buried (no, nothing was ACTUALLY buried. Ok, maybe just well hidden in the garage). Many days were crossed off in precise order or I’d just shuffle them around if I woke up and was just like ‘Nah, not today study cupboard, not today!’ But there’s a darker side to purging that no-one really talks about, consisting of anxiety attacks when you see how many random items you’ve hoarded over all these years of your existence, which leads to copious amounts of tea to help you calm the frick down, which then leads to a caffeine overload so now you’re walking around like a jittery Duracell bunny needing to wizzle (brain takes a detour thinking about which bunny came first – Duracell or Energizer. It’s Duracell, I googled), moving items you’ve convinced yourself to keep from one part of the house to where they actually belong (and of course it’s to an area you’ve JUST PURGED) and you’re still left with all the hoarding that currently looks like it has exploded onto your bed that you now have to re-home before picking up the short people from their daily schooling in what’s now become down to the wire (red wire or blue wire, I have no idea and it’s bugging me. Stupid movie flashbacks), because if they get home and see any of this you can be pretty sure they’re going to try and find a way to squirrel it away among their things (mom has cool stuff, ok?), and you’ll only discover this in a few weeks time when you purge again.

Let’s face it, once you start down the dark, spirally road of de-cluttering it never actually ends…you’ll find yourself purging again in a haphazard sort of manner as it appears you didn’t get rid of enough stuff the first time round and you feel the walls closing in on you as the Husbander is freaking out because the pots and pans have been stacked in such a manner that requires the jaws of life to get them out (wasn’t me), the Tupperware is starting an uprising in an attempt to take over the snack shelf and you’re struggling to breathe because you literally just sorted these lids 2 days ago and you’re currently missing 5, so you blindly lunge for that cup of tea that you made sometime this year and you’re hoping it’s not cold but you’ll drink it anyway (desperate times call for desperate measures) and that first sip hits and ahhhhhhh, happy place, heart rate normalising, brain has stopped attempting to do the macarena and…where were we? Ah, yes, purging…it’s fun, you should do it sometime…

One thought on “That time I de-cluttered

  1. Monica Dawson says:

    Freak, I’m there with you girlfriend! My decluttering journey started years ago, and as SOON as anything starts to look out of order/place, I freak out completely.

    My husband has said on many many occasions if he didnt move in 6months, I’d declutter, rehome or repurpose him too ;P

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