That time of an attempted VIY (Vix-It-Yourself)

Required steps:

• Have an awesome coffee play date with a likeminded creative friend.

• Friend proposes awesome space-saving idea for aluminum foil & wax paper & such, using just a magazine holder (What!!! Just a magazine holder?! Yes, just a magazine holder, focus!). 

• Google potential places that may have these holders. 

• On the way home from coffee play date decide to quickly swing by a stationary shop with the short people, that should still be open, because it will bug you if you have to leave it until the next day & the shorts are game.

• Arrive at stationary shop with short people.

• Locate metal magazine holder 

• Attempt to not dry heave at the price (succeed), convince yourself that you’re doing the right thing & that the metal holder will last longer than it’s plastic rivals. 

• Take a moment to *dramatic pause* THINK OF THE CHILDREN (in this case the “children” being your kitchen drawer that will now have more space in it). 

• Make purchase.

• Congratulate yourself on well behaved short people. Enjoy a game of yes/no-which-cars-have-their-lights-on that the short people have just invented. 

• Find yourself 5 minutes away from home trying to maintain your cool whilst the short people have resorted to smacking each other & crying because the one does not agree with the other’s something-or-other statement which was probably pure drivel anyway & you cannot even remember what it was to begin with. 

• Arrive home & see husbander is already home. 

• Breathe a sigh of relief. 

• Short people also now happy (it helps when mommy has cleverly timed the arrival to be after daddy-home-time). 

• Place purchase on kitchen counter. 

• Some time much later (include supper eating, repeatedly asking short people to get pajamas on, a bucketload of kisses, tickles & giggles, sneaking out their room, some sketching, tea drinking & series watching) go to bed not having started the VIY, & now you can’t fall asleep because it’s annoying you, just sitting on that friggin counter, sending you irritating magazine holder thoughts. 

• Write blog post.

• Promise yourself: Tomorrow perhaps…

That time I de-cluttered

So what feels like many moons ago I attempted a de-clutter challenge. It was fairly successful…many a black bag, filled with random crap, was given away, sold or buried (no, nothing was ACTUALLY buried. Ok, maybe just well hidden in the garage). Many days were crossed off in precise order or I’d just shuffle them around if I woke up and was just like ‘Nah, not today study cupboard, not today!’ But there’s a darker side to purging that no-one really talks about, consisting of anxiety attacks when you see how many random items you’ve hoarded over all these years of your existence, which leads to copious amounts of tea to help you calm the frick down, which then leads to a caffeine overload so now you’re walking around like a jittery Duracell bunny needing to wizzle (brain takes a detour thinking about which bunny came first – Duracell or Energizer. It’s Duracell, I googled), moving items you’ve convinced yourself to keep from one part of the house to where they actually belong (and of course it’s to an area you’ve JUST PURGED) and you’re still left with all the hoarding that currently looks like it has exploded onto your bed that you now have to re-home before picking up the short people from their daily schooling in what’s now become down to the wire (red wire or blue wire, I have no idea and it’s bugging me. Stupid movie flashbacks), because if they get home and see any of this you can be pretty sure they’re going to try and find a way to squirrel it away among their things (mom has cool stuff, ok?), and you’ll only discover this in a few weeks time when you purge again.

Let’s face it, once you start down the dark, spirally road of de-cluttering it never actually ends…you’ll find yourself purging again in a haphazard sort of manner as it appears you didn’t get rid of enough stuff the first time round and you feel the walls closing in on you as the Husbander is freaking out because the pots and pans have been stacked in such a manner that requires the jaws of life to get them out (wasn’t me), the Tupperware is starting an uprising in an attempt to take over the snack shelf and you’re struggling to breathe because you literally just sorted these lids 2 days ago and you’re currently missing 5, so you blindly lunge for that cup of tea that you made sometime this year and you’re hoping it’s not cold but you’ll drink it anyway (desperate times call for desperate measures) and that first sip hits and ahhhhhhh, happy place, heart rate normalising, brain has stopped attempting to do the macarena and…where were we? Ah, yes, purging…it’s fun, you should do it sometime…

That time I decided to de-clutter…

So, some many moons ago (probably a few weeks) a friend suggested I watch Julie & Julia…it was always on my “I’m-sure-I’ll-get-around-to-watching-it-someday-or-another-but-I’ll-probably-forget-until-someone-mentions-it” list.

It…was awesome, and I am currently on the hunt to locate my Grandmother’s small string of pearls to wear whilst doing Martha Stewart type things, which has inadvertently led me to a spring clean challenge (I like to think of it as THE PURGE…It must ALWAYS be spoken as if you are a pirate & about to descend into battle, with accurate facial expressions & the theme tune to Pirates of the Caribbean playing at a respectable level in your head. You may want to practice in the mirror. Savvy?) because I am unable to locate said pearls, or actually anything that has to do with anything for that matter! Continue reading